Letter to Senator Harry Reid

I often write letters to our elected representatives, knowing they don't often read what is written, but I want to express my opinion while I still can. Here is one to the majority leader of the Senate in response to a pronouncement he made the other day about coal and oil "making us all sick". For my true intent, please read this as satire.

Dear Senator Reid,
I was so glad to hear you speaking against carbon based energy the other day. I would love to stop using fossil fuels to run my everyday life. I know I'm addicted to oil. I think it would be wonderful if a great person such as yourself would provide a positive example to the rest of us by not using any transportation that uses carbon based fuel. No planes, trains or automobiles. I know that might be an inconvenience for an important man like yourself, but just think, you would be doing it for the planet. Maybe you could just ride a bicycle around Washington, D.C. By setting such a good example, many people could be persuaded to help us save the planet.
Since you run the Senate, why don't you turn off the air conditioner in the Senate chamber and all Senate office buildings. Not only would the government reduce its carbon footprint, but you could also save the taxpayers millions of dollars. You would be a hero.
I know that coal and other fossil fuels, such as oil are making us sick. Just the other day, I had to cough. I just know I've got black lung disease, but I can't afford to go to the doctor. My $20 copay is just a budget buster. I'm just glad I'm not an Olympic athlete. Those guys are going to literally die from breathing the crap in the air over in Beijing.
You know, if we could just get rid of the internal combusion engine, I'm convinced that most people could live forever. (Unless, of course, they're killed by a terrorist that we've made mad.) And you know it's all our fault. We shouldn't have made them mad. I'm not sure what we did, but we shouldn't have done it. Can't we all just get along? If someone had just bought Osama Bin Laden a Coke, maybe the world would be a lot better off.
Senator Reid, thanks for your time and for all that you do to make us a better country and better citizens of the world.